[Review] You Can’t Find a Bigger Wannabe Than Hyomin & Her “Nice Body”

Make Up

Oh! It feels good to be right! Didn’t I say Miley Cyrus was having an effect on the Kpop industry?! Hyomin and her solo debut not only proved my well timed point, but were the epitamie of wannabe.

In a desperate attempt to drag herself out of the shadows of netizen hate, T-ara’s Hyomin took half baked puzzle pieces of other buzz worthy celebs’ to create a monster more hideous than Dr. Frankenstein’s. I’m of course talking about her debut mini album “Make Up.”

It’s so clear that all the thought and effort for this album went into the hodgepodge concept, because the music was insufferable. Not only was the title song bland, especially went compared to the livelier club influenced music she generally sings as a member T-ara, but it was painfully repetitive. After the first minute or so, everything started to melt together in an obnoxiously high flurry. As for the rest of the album, it was so poorly produced that I still cannot find myself completing it.

Copycat Concept

The next offense, is Hyomin’s blatantly plagiarized concept. From the overly exposing sports inspired body suits, to the toy car on her back trick, nothing about this video was fresh or original. The video was like a bubblegum pop version of Mike Will Made-It’s 23,” right down to Hyomin sitting spread leg on a windowsill. Then she chopped her signature long dark locks and traded them in for a bleach blond semi pixie cut. I imagine she had some shame, because she didn’t dare style it the way Miley did.

And finally, she made sure to include herself down on all fours making a toy car roll down her back, just to make sure we can see how curvy she is. She had this signature scene from Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” right down to the white shoes, white hot pants, and white crop top.

Haven’t I Heard This Before

Hyomin also caught the wrath of netizens and BBCs when they caught on that her song “담 (Overcome)” included lines from Zico’s “God Answered,” “Dead Leaves,” “Brilliant,” and Block B’s “Movie’s Over.” Luckily Zico bailed her out saying he gave her the lyrics.

Wait…What?!

Then, there is the absolutely terrible message. Above all else, this was the worst aspect of Hyomin’s debut.

“All guys want a girl like this

All guys like pretty girls

All guys think dirty thoughts at least once

I want that to be me, I want that

Yes you’ve read correctly. To what few fans she may have left, Hyomin sends a message of ‘you have to be skinny if you want the guys to have naughty thoughts about you.’ So, dressed up as Miley Cyrus, the poster child for exploiting her own body, Hyomin takes a little over 4 minutes to tell girls everywhere they need to look like her if they ever want to land a man. To drive home her point that she has the quintessentially “Nice Body,” Hyomin fashioned some sort of choreography out of her handy dandy tape measure, and super short pink and blue romper that had the words ‘Body Twenty Four Nice’ around the waist.

And, as if all that isn’t insulting enough, how does Hyomin get her body? Not through exercise, not through reasonable dieting, but with her golden magic donut!

Ultimately, Hyomin’s album was a poorly constructed patchwork of other people’s work, that miserably failed to deliver a good reason for her solo debut, or at the very least, something memorable.

 Nice Body With 로꼬 (Loco): 0/1

척했어 (Fake It): .25/1

담 (Overcome) (談,膽): 0/1

Final Score: . 4/5

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