I was sitting around one day thinking about Kpop, as I usually do during my free time, and I was reflecting back on how I even got involved with this crazy roller coaster of a fandom. I remembered how long it took me to get into it, and how resistant I was to it. So I thought, as someone who took a long while to be convinced of Kpop’s greatness, who better to teach other fans how to pave the way for their friends, family, and even complete strangers’ to the holy land of eargasms?! And with that, Asia 24/7’s newest series, The Kpopper’s Guide to Konversion, was born. The Kpopper’s Guide is your new be all, end all, comprehensive guide to introducing Kpop and Korean Music to your worlds!!
Our first installment of the Kpopper’s Guide is all about the songs to steer clear of in your quest of konversion. I’ll be tackeling the big DO NOTs, because introducing your special someone to Kpop isn’t just about knowing which songs to use, but knowing which songs to avoid!
1. Male Aegyo [DBSK’s “Balloons” & “Hugs”][youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdTVb64pfMs]
As our friends The One Shots so perfectly pointed out during Guest Blogger Week, just about every Kpopper who has introduced a Non-Kpop Fan to a video like “Balloons” or “Hugs,” has been asked ‘are they gay?’ In all honesty, when I was first introduced to Kpop, these exact videos were used to try and convert me, and I had to question some sexualities. Now, this isn’t a matter of intolerance, but seeing a bunch of guys hopping around in overgrown children’s pajamas, while winking and smiling incessantly at the camera won’t make anyone receptive of new music. And, generally speaking its hard to understand male aegyo if your not familiar with the genre.
For that reason these video are an absolute NO NO. Save ’em for the veterans who have grown accustom to aegyo, and know how to resist the urge to form a fist.
2. Female Aegyo [Kara’s “Honey,” Girls’ Generations’ “Echo”[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_AQ7AkVzpM]
Just like male aegyo, female aegyo is hard to swallow for those not familiar with the genre. Like it or not, the world is pretty big on the ‘sex sells’ concept, overly cute is a bit awkward to endure.
3. Hot Bod, Bad Song [Kim Hyun Joong’s “Unbreakable”][youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYBPz4jENA]
You might be screaming at your computer screens right now, but hear me out. YES, this video is jam packed with up close and personal shots of a shirtless, and ripped Kim Hyun Joong, but eye candy isn’t enough to konvert someone, anyone can get good looking, shirtless guys anywhere! “Unbreakable” is NOT A GOOD SONG, and while I’m sure plenty of his fans probably want rip my head off for saying this, it’s the truth.
4. Distractingly Weird [EXO’s “Wolf”][youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAal8xHfV0c]
Oh, EXO. I GUARANTEE anyone you play this video for is going to say ‘Why the f*ck are they howling?!‘ I know I asked that question, and I’d been in the business of Kpop long enough to think nothing about it could shock me. The weirdness is too distracting, and plus the song isn’t all that great. The choreography however is amazing so, if you absolutely NEED to show somebody this video try it on mute the first time around.
5. Curse Flurry [Jay Park’s “Trill” & “1Hunnit”][youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVE3qq9MCyc]
Just like with hot bods, your konverting subject can listen to a song with a million curse words in it any ol’ time. That being said, these Jay Park videos are to be AVOIDED. No one wants to hear an F-bomb being dropped every other second, its a turn off, and leaves room for listeners to cry ‘wannabe.’